Relationships are all about negotiation.  Time, amount of communication, boundaries about relationships outside the relationship and many other things are up for negotiation.  Relationships consist of  chemistry, compatibility, and communication.  If things can not be negotiated between 2 people than they are probably not compatible.  No chemistry-no excitement, no compatibility-arguments, no communication and the first two are irrelevant, chemistry will die and arguments will happen.

The answer to the question is whatever works for both.

People change in each season and with time so it’s wise to give the relationship at least 1 year. The first 3 months people put their best foot forward, most people know how to make themselves look good (although many can’t make it for 3 months).  The second 3 months they each start slipping and the other rationalizes their bad behavior away.  The 3rd 3 months they see the behavior isn’t going away.  The 4th 3 months it’s time for negotiation.  Some are lucky and fall in lust(not love) and marry and the relationship works but looking at the divorce rate, it’s obvious that’s a bit like Las Vegas.

For those of you in the dating world, did you know that casual sex works better for men than women? Our biology causes a woman to bond to the man thru a hormone called oxytocin. His biology says, collect a bunch of women and spread yourself around. Without the time to develop a relationship a woman will oxytocin bond, become insecure when a man does not seem to be as attached. and thus appear less desirable. She may even find herself addicted to the guy. Men, you will loose the opportunity to really get to know this woman for who she really is. Oxytocin has been know to cause women to loose their ability to put their best foot foreward (or to loose their mind). A friend and coleague of mine , Tom Lord, coined a great statement “Friendship never moves past the first lay”. Biologically speaking this is true so think before potentially missing a great relationship. Questions about dating, just ask.

Turtle Buddy video

I love this video. It really shows how we need a buddy to help us. If you need some help today, please give me a call at 866.262.3054. Marilyn Brown Marriage and Family counselor. My office is in Eagle, Idaho but can do phone counseling.

This is a great video for women to learn how to flirt. If you are interested in learning more, please give me a call at 866-262-3054. I have group and individual sessions.

The Masculine and Feminine – Part 3 – Flirting

This is my second video on the Masculine and Feminine in all of us. Take a look and if you have more questions please feel free to call me at 866.262.3054.

I have individual and group consultations. The group consultations are on Thursday nights, call me for the time.

There are 3 kinds of relationships, covenant, co-dependent and convenient. In a co-dependent relationship one person gives up their life to revolve around the other’s life. Their mood dependends on the mood and approval of their partner at any given time. In a convenient relationship everything is equal, paying bills, importance of career. These 2 people are very independent. In a covenant relationship masculine and feminine energies compliment each other. Masculine is money and status, feminine is sensuality and spirituality. Which one are you in? Is that the one you signed up for? Are you both in the same kind? Coaching/Group is at 7 p.m. in my office this Thurs. at 7p.m. call for space.

Learning when to use our masculine or our feminine can help in relationship with others. Watch the video to see when to use each trait. Thanks for watching and if you would like to learn more, call me at 866.262.3054. See you soon.

This is my newest video on judging other people. Please take a look and let me know your experiences with being judged.